Making New Friends

I've lived in Big Sky, Montana for 7 years this November and wow, how the time has gone by fast.  But Big Sky being a seasonal town tends to make people more leery of making friends too easily.  The friend you make during the winter season most likely will leave in the summer season and maybe will return the following winter, but most likely not.  So it tends to be that people are hesitant to make good friends until they have lived in town for several years.  It's almost like, "Do you own a house here? Okay, we can be friends."

I've always easily been able to make good friends in the different parts of my life...high school, camp, college, Germany, etc., but of course everyone goes their own way and most of these friends, even if they are some of the best friends of my life, live far away and I see once a year if we're lucky.  Facebook has been great for that!  The group of 6 of us girlfriends from college are in fairly close touch and have been surprisingly good at our pact of meeting up once a year (as a side note, 5 of the girls in this group are either new moms or expecting, so it is a great support group).  I just wish we all lived in the same place! 

I do feel that I have been fairly lucky in the groups of friends I've made living in Big Sky even with the challenges of being a seasonal town...there is a group of ladies who were all working in the ski school my first year, 2005-2006, who are mostly still around and get together for clothes swaps or ladies nights at someone's house.  Of course a couple have moved to Bozeman and then I rarely see them anymore or they leave for the summer still to pursue other things.  And then there is the group of core ski school people who are mostly still around, especially in winter.  Some have also moved to Bozeman or leave for the summer, but they are the group of really good guy friends who Neil loves to hang out with and we always have a fun time when all together...camping, rafting, dinner at someones house, etc.

Even though there are these good core groups of older friends, I still find it is hard to make really close friends...those who you feel you can tell them everything or call when you feel lonely or just need someone to talk to.  Two of these closest friends of mine have moved away from Big Sky in the last year permanently and of course when you don't live in the same town it is hard to find the time to stay in touch except a phone call every couple months or the occasional email.

Of course working from home for the past 3 years also has it's downfalls of trying to keep old friends or make new friends.  I'm home all day or traveling for a week here or there so when evening comes or I get back from a trip, no one knows I'm around or I haven't heard of the latest thing going on.  It's not like I can go out with coworkers after work for a drink or anything.

But the reason I wanted to write this post was not to complain about my lack of close friends, but to illustrate how fun it has been to meet some new friends lately...those who are also pregnant or recently had babies.  Most of the friends from the older groups haven't yet started to have kids (families in Big Sky tend to start when the parents are a bit older), although some have recently bought houses or gotten married and a couple have recently had babies.  So since late July, as soon as we started telling people in Big Sky that we were pregnant, I have been lucky enough to meet several new moms or women pregnant and due around the same time as me.  Big Sky is a growing community and it's clear that there are lots of people starting families out there and I just hadn't met them yet.

At the Country Fair I ran into an old acquaintance who is a really sweet girl and happened to be 9 months pregnant.  She said, "Anna, you have to come over and hang out with our baby girl when she is newborn in order to get used to it!"  She had a friend who did that for her and she really enjoyed it.  A few weeks later I heard that her baby had been born so I texted congratulations and that I'd love to meet her.  That evening I went over and got to snuggle with the sweetest 2 week old baby and had a really fun time chatting with her parents about how they were adjusting.  I'm really hoping Neil will meet them soon and that we can keep up the visits.

Then I called this older woman who lives in my neighborhood who I had heard teaches birthing classes (unfortunately her class this fall is full, so we're signed up for the one at the hospital), but she told me of 2 other expecting moms in our neighborhood, one due in December and one in February!  So I've reached out to them and now have some people to call to go on walks with.  We may end up being able to do a 2 couple class with the one due in February at one of our houses as well, which I think would be nice.

And then one of my longtime girlfriends who has a 4 year old told me about a clothes swap the other night.  I brought an appetizer and some old clothes I hadn't worn in a while and ended up meeting about 10 moms who all live in Big Sky doing various jobs and who have a couple kids each.  It was a little intimidating meeting these new women who are a bit older than me and have experience being a mom, but it was really a fun time, plus I got some hand me down maternity clothes out of it!

Even if I do have to put more effort into calling people and making a point to spend time together, it really is worth it and I'm hoping that it just keeps getting better as I get closer to having my own baby.  A support group is so important, both far and near.